Too Fat is Flummoxed by Pornography but Runs On

I am hesitant to use the p word in the title of this post. Simply typing the word “porn” in a title a few weeks ago lead to the weirdest configuration of comments and search engine hits imaginable. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good dirty movie. In fact, 15 years ago I was bumping up against connoisseur status before I broke my hand. However, I question where we are going as a species when I log onto my blog and see someone has visited my little blog after typing “fat dad porn” into their favorite search engine. So you know, I tried to replicate the experiment and for the love of God do not use that search term. The results were  disturbing to me and I laugh at midget tossing.

After this experience I really don’t know what disturbs me more, the fact that someone was searching for “fat dad porn” or the fact that that search somehow linked to my blog.  It wasn’t just the weird search request that got me either but the 15 spam comments I’ve gotten from some type of sick advertising program. To answer all of them in sequence.

1-12. I am happy with the size of my dick.

13. I do not want to meet desperate hot milfs in my neighborhood

14. Thank you but I’ve seen a donkey show

15. That’s just sick. Absolutely not.

Anyway this is, ostensibly, a running blog and I want to keep it that way so I’ll update a few things regarding running and the race.

First of all, I am now an official participant in the 2010 Houston Marathon. If you recall, I had some issues when the open registration closed in a record 24 hours. Therefore, I had to go through the charity back door, meaning I had to donate some cash ($350) to a specific charity to be allowed the privilege of paying $100 to enter this death march. I’d like to thank my sponsors, Mr. & Mrs. Toofat and 2000Barts for their contributions that made it all possible. I’d also like to take this opportunity to publicly chide Cap’t Cool for initially encouraging me to seek sponsors and guaranteeing me funds and then backing out.

The good news is I am supporting the 3A Bereavement Foundation. This group helps people without the means bury their dead. It actually does a lot more and that reduction doesn’t do these folk justice but you can look it up if you feel so inclined.

I chose this charity for two reasons. First, they were the first on the list when I checked. However, and even more importantly, they offer a much needed service and they are unique in doing so. Listen, I want cancer and AIDS and child abuse and club foot and child death to go away as much as anyone but it seems these days you can’t throw a sickle cell without hitting a charity dedicated to those causes. Because it is really a good idea and they are the only ones doing this, I think this is an awesome charity and I’m happy to kick the hell out of THR in their name.

Secondly, Saturday I meant to go out for a good 8-9 miler but life got in the way. I wasn’t able to hit the road till nearly 11:30 in the morning and it was about 95 degrees by then. I am a bad hot weather runner and knew I’d have to cut it back so I decided to do a 5 miler.

The biggest things I have noticed from my two week slump (layoff) is a loss of stamina and the loss of understanding my pacing. I intended to go out on the first mile of this run at 9:30 and I thought I was sticking to that pace pretty well. The running was hot but pretty easy. When I passed the one mile mark I looked at my watch and was shocked to see I’d just run an 8:18 mile. If I had the stamina to maintain this pace I would have been overjoyed with the breakthrough but I don’t and I knew I didn’t when I saw my watch. I was right. I scaled it back instantly but ended up struggling to finish at a 9:04 pace. 

Finally, Monday I started a new  work week regimen. This will have me get up early and eat breakfast, hydrate, have coffee, stretch, take a crap, and take the keed to the babysitter before I run. It worked out well this morning. I did my 4 mile course and even though I had a stitch in my side the entire run I had a much better sense of pacing. I ended uo running a negative split, with my first two miles at 9:02 and my last two at 8:40ish. I’ve got about three weeks before I start hills and speed work so I need to buckle down and get my base back up to 12.