Bad news was delivered last night when THR called to let me know that registration for the 2010 Houston marathon had sold out in around 48 hours. We had discussed it Thursday when registration opened. THR signed up right away but I didn’t have the $90 at the time. I figured I had a couple of weeks to enter. After all there were 11,000 spots open. Last year it took around 3 months to sell out and there were a couple of thousand fewer spots open.
This leaves me with two options. First I could just run without entering. This is widely frowned upon by runners but my hands may be tied. My other option is the charitable entry. At this time there are 450 entries available through non-profit charitable organization. All I need to do is contribute $350 to one of these charities and pay the $90 entry fee. However, since I don’t have ninety bucks it stands to reason that I don’t have $440.
After discussing the issue with Coach Cool I have decided to start a breakneck search for sponsors. I will happily thank all sponsors here and find a way to wear a patch on my singlet on race day. Have a buisness you want me to promote? Want to tell your mom you love her or proclaim “Jesus is Lord?” Want me to propose to your girlfriend on the course. Any and all of this is possible for a small contribution, which is for charity anyway.
I’m afraid these entries will go fast so step up. For just the cost of a cup of coffee every day for 220 days you can help a fat unemployed guy that just wants to race daddy
I will pledge $100. Though strings will be attached.
I cannot sponsor you but if I did- I would hand draw the patch. It would probably be totally inappropriate and in questionable taste. You would love it.
5k, i would be glad to give you every penny i have allotted for coffee consumption, unfortunately i don’t drink coffee, so the allotment isn’t that big.
Mike and Mike were talking about this issue early this morn, and Golic said that if THR were a real competitor he would do everything in his power to ensure that Too Fat is in the field on race day, even if that means dropping a cool 2 hundy.
well bear, i really am sorry, and i would contribute, but i found this really cool deal on sac that i had to have, and now i don’t have any spare cash.
Take it up with Mike and Mike and the crew at espn.
very well bear. 5k, i will donate $10 dollars to your race fund, it on your race jersey, you wear a patch acknowledging my mental superiority over you.
@THR- I think that he gets a pass on the mental superiority patch until you write a length essay on the difference between “it” and “if”.
not if he wants my $10 dollars he doesn’t.
Well, no length essay would be complete without the inclusion of a discussion on girth.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Kim, I must say, your writing style makes me think you are hot. Will you be attending the Houston Marathon to watch Too Fat whip THR’s arse?
i think you scared her off bear
For an alternative to this highly questionable charity (linked with Al Qaeda is my understanding), I recommend the Houston Sucks Fund. To save everyone some time, I’ve provided a link over on the right side of Too Fat’s page. He’s relabeled it The Many Faces of Bart, but that’s just more trickery and evidence of why you should avoid this money pit at all costs.
I hope you will all find it in your hearts (and your pocketbooks!!!) to help just one adult through the Houston Sucks Fund. You can make a difference and the time is now.
If I did- I would totally be the obnoxious one in front in a really tacky see through shirt and yelling my face off.
Always a crowd pleaser…
😉
Now see there, we already have something in common. I usually wear see through shorts. Only in the summer though. Only in the summer.
Is there any chance that you pair it with one of those mesh shirts?
Nah, that’s too fancy for me. I only roll nekkid on the top-side. Gotta be casual.
Too fat- I knew I’d like it around here- your friends are my kinda slum and I like it.
This is all good banter you are having, but this is fundraising time, not social hour. I need each of you to find 10 friends and bring them on over to the Houston Sucks Fund. We can’t do this every night and your pledge will only take 5 minutes. 5 minutes to save the life of an adult. And the safety of your country depends on it.
well, since we are all pretty much family now, too fat looks forward to your financial support.
Lady Kim, lets take the money and run to San Sebastian, then Pamplona. For the festival. I assure you we will get tight. And all will be swell. In Spain.
Or we can watch Too Fat in Houston.
Yeah, Too Fat and Bin Laden. You’re just making it that much easier for the dreaded “terrists” to get to the chemical plants. I’ve seen the way Too Fat’s nipples bleed, and that is decidedly not American.
We’re in for a hundred; we want to see you kick THR’s arse.
Man, seems like nobody is with me, and everyone is again’ me. too fat, maybe we need to set this up as a pay per view since everyone wants you to kick my ass. we could make some coin off this deal.
I do like Spain……
And I will try to pimp out your sponsor needs as well..
Dammit mom, why has he always come first? Growing up, I always felt like you didn’t even know who I was. I guess some things never change.
I can contribute various denominations of quetzales and a basket of figs, which by the way will be ripe in about one week. My figs are getting purplish and swollen just thinking about.
Hey Godfather, your mom is awesome. She just dominated THR.
Also, is that figwhiskey another of your satellite blogs?
seems like i am being painted as the bad guy, when in fact had i not said something to too fat, he would have logged on in 3 weeks and wouldn’t even have had a $440 option available.
I think you’re lovely THR
Oh, he’s lovely alright.
much appreciated kim. i think you are a fine soul as well.
Listen THR and Kim,
I know for a fact both of you are involved in serious relationships with fine upstanding men. Stop all this blog posting flirting.
Fine. Be that way.
**pout**
(Steve is pretty upstanding….)
there was no flirting here. white picket rule #38.37 doesn’t allow it. besides, i would be horning in of bear’s territory if i were to flirt here. he has already been wooing her with his see through underpants.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
No, no, no. You are confusing books here. The White Picket Fence Rulebook allows the flirting and allows the cheating (hell, it even allows the cheating in airport bathrooms with other men), but it doesn’t allow you to talk about the flirting or the cheating, unless you are a congressman or a preacherman from the south, and then you can only discuss after you are caught, at which point you can only do so if you are simultaneously crying. You can also view porn and nudie rags, but you have to argue strenously that they be banned from selling in the U.S. Of course, you can only argue such if you’ve got a “guy” who is willing to directly supply such items to you and your friends. Erstwhile, your friends will no longer be your friends, and they may throw The Book at you. The Good Book.
how the hell would you knwo what the WP rulebook says. I know WP sir, and you are no WP. You just leave this area to me and go back to your commie friends in the mountains.
I know this much. You’re an expatriate. You’ve lost touch with the soil. You get precious. Fake Houston standards have ruined you. You drink yourself to death. You become obsessed by sex. You spend all your time talking, not working. You are an expatriate, see. You hang around cafés. And you later pretend not to flirt.
i have no fucking clue what this means, but it made me laugh, therefore i thank you
No problem. Tourist.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
That sense of rugged individualism speaks to me. It makes me feel like I’m A Stranger In A Strange Land. Plagiarizing hack
Folks, I was scratching out a few poems the last night at the bar, and since I don’t have my own blog I generally use Too Fat’s as an outlet. This is what I came up with. I know it probably isn’t great, but thoughts?
Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear and gave it to a hooker
Vince hookers don’t want ears they want money
But maybe that is what made you so great
You just didn’t understand the difference
Bear, you’re not even a satellite, you’re a parasite. You have no home of your own. You’ve just latched on to the skin beneath Too Fat’s collar (speaking of girth). I refuse to comment on your efforts until you become at least a satellite.
If you want an example, or if any of you just want to read a good blog, I recommend 2000barts.wordpress.com. I also accept donations on behalf of the Houston Sucks fund. There’s still time people.
2000, you are no aficion, and for that, I cannot forgive the actions of you or your friends.
2000, I was thinking of that night we spent together several years ago, and how, in reverent and sweet silence, you took all your clothes off and slipped your tiny body into the sheets with me. It was brown as grapes. I saw your poor belly where there was a Caesarian scar; your hips were so narrow you couldn’t bear a child without getting gashed open… I made love to you in the sweetness of the weary morning. Then, like two tired angels of some kind, hung-up forlornly in a Vail hideway, having found the closest and most delicious thing in life together, we fell asleep and slept till late afternoon.